HI! MY NAME IS AND I’M AN **

May 31, 2018May 31, 20181 Comment

I literally have no inclination to write at the moment. It’s not that I don’t have the time, it’s just don’t have the will. I’d be lying if I said this laissez-faire attitude hasn’t spilt over into many other projects. It’s another moment of clarity in the land of the un-routine.

I am still struggling to find normality in this rhythm of irregularity. There are literally no two days alike, from start to finish, and everything in between. Each day is an adventure, an opportunity to build something great from the freedom that lay ahead. Time is but the greatest of these, in all its undervalued glory. We cannot get it back. It can’t be saved-up or bought from the store if we run out. It is an intangible anomaly in a universe of highly accepted tangibility.

I am continually confronted with this new awareness; of time, as a finite resource. We can splish-splash in it all we want but at the end of the day, it will never be the infinity pool we so dream of. It seems a rare case where perception is not in fact reality, yet, here we are. No matter how endless the pool appears, it too is constrained by the limited supply of water, power, and caretakers to maintain it.

Instead, we are confined to an old concrete bowl of times past. This functional enclosure offers us an even spread of this ethereal substance, and like it or not, it begins leaking from the day we are born. Yes, there are things we can do to slow its materialisation. But nought can be done to prevent the inevitability of this future skate rink entirely.

Jana Payne riding the pool with confidence in the 1970s

Jana Payne riding the empty well of time.

So, here I am. Confronted daily with my inevitable doom. Face to face with this shrinking mass of water, of time, of life. It is easy to get taken aback by the bleak nature of these facts but that view will not add more hours, or gift extra days. There is no sympathetic response in denying these truths. But, by confronting them head-on, there may be a chance to plough their fields for prosperity. A filling of one’s personal bank if you like; with meaning, fulfilment, and financial reward.

It sounds so noble, doesn’t it? A life worth living. A rebuttal to the expectation that your role as a human being is bound by your economic worth. It is an actuality that has pained me my entire life. Our education system, our workplaces, the nature of big business, and the epidemic of poor management in the smaller. I have turned and twisted. Resisted with subtle and not-so-subtle force. I writhed in internal agony as the necessity of a functional and financial baseline suffocated my true hopes and dreams.

But my perspective has changed, evolved. For the first time, I truly see the benefit in those of you who stay in the world of the new normal. My inner rebellion presented so strong in the past that it pained me to see the greatness of others be suffocated by the wastefulness of the regular. It was a coping mechanism for my own inability to escape, and it manifested in a push onto those around me to do the same. ‘Come on, we can do this together! A walkout, a revolution, a heist of our own lost liberty’. But the motley array of responses were all valid. Facing the alternative, I now realise, is not something I would wish on many. If you get some enjoyment out of whatever it is you do, if you excel in your role, if you are getting paid good money, if you are not in a world of discomfort – stay. Stay as long as you goddamn can. Pursue passionate endeavours and creative ventures outside of these hours. Yes, your time may be limited and your energy depleted. But your financial ability will be plentiful and in this modern world, you must use at least part of these means to practice such worldly delights. I apologise if I ever made you feel that your pathway was not earnest. The ache was mine to own and any attempts to engineer a softened blow to my own outcomes was futile.

Me: Getting Off My High Horse

Enough deflection. Time to shoot the arrow where it belongs.
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Hello. My name is ZB and I am an alcoholic.
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I kid, I kid, I’m not really! It just rolls off the tongue so well. Sorry, back on task.
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My name is Bec and at the ripe age of 32, I have finally been diagnosed with ADHD.
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Yep, you heard it here first folks! And, unless your life has been touched in some way by this big-bag-of-unfocused-fun, you are likely to have waded through the deep sea of (mostly incorrect) assumptions. I know I was certainly guilty. I reserved these four letters for hyperactive young boys, lazy parenting, and overprescribing doctors. Because it was easy that way. And yes, I’m sure that there’s a percentage of people who fit under this umbrella of stereotypes regardless. Buuuuut, by applying these generalisations to everyone, it further reinforces the negative connotations for people who truly do struggle with this ‘disorder’. It also masks the real issues at hand, such as the high rate of missed diagnosis in young females and adults.

Let’s debunk some of the junk in the trunk, walk with me.

Potatoes-Potahtoes

The correct term is ADHD, or Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder.
The term ‘ADD’ was eliminated from the diagnostic manual back in 1987.
Some experts assert that ‘attention deficit’ is a misleading name. ‘Attention deregulation’ may be more accurate since most people with ADHD have more than enough attention — they just can’t harness it in the right direction at the right time with any consistency.¹Read: ADHD is not a damaged or defective nervous system, it is a nervous system that works well – using its own set of rules.²

Epidemiology

Meta-regression analyses estimate the worldwide prevalence of ADHD at around 6.2% for children and adolescents, and 3.4% in adults.³
Further reviews across 199 worldwide studies found no significant difference in prevalence between countries. Researchers, therefore argue that ADHD is not a cultural construct associated with a particular geographical location.³

Causes

As proven by studies of twins and families, ADHD is a highly hereditable condition. Yes! Genetic factors are the major cause of ADHD in individuals.⁴
Children whose parents have ADHD have a 40% to 60% chance of also having it. Sometimes a child’s diagnosis can be the first clue that a parent may have ADHD.⁷
Secondary factors such as lifestyle choices, personality style, toxic pollution, exercise, nutrition, socioeconomic factors, and parenting behaviour can all improve or worsen outcomes.^5,6

Diagnosis

Diagnosis in adults is not always straightforward as there is often an age-dependent change in symptoms. The older the person, the less obvious symptoms become.⁸
Furthermore, ADHD has a high rate of comorbidity, meaning that it is often present alongside other diagnoses which may cloud the symptoms.⁹
To qualify for an ADHD diagnosis, at least some of the symptoms should have been present during childhood or adolescence, even though they may not have been recognized at the time.¹⁰
The medical incidence of ADHD is equal among males and females, however, females are half as likely to be diagnosed. The reason for this stems from a range of factors including gender-specific behaviour norms, severity of symptoms and socioeconomic considerations.⁹
Multiple criteria must be established before diagnosis including the age of onset, pervasiveness, impairment (social, academic or occupational functioning), exclusionary conditions, and symptoms.
An individual must present with a minimum of 5 out of 9 symptoms if they are over 17 years (or 6 out of 9 for those under).¹² Once the criterion and symptoms are fully established, the person will be diagnosed with one of the three ‘presentations’ of ADHD. They are:

1. ADHD Predominantly Inattentive (ADHD-I)
One-third of people diagnosed will have this subtype. They might present with serious inattention problems but have minimal issues with hyperactivity/ impulsive symptoms.¹⁰ADHD-I is far less likely to be recognized by parents, teachers, psychologists and doctors so people rarely get the treatment they need with this type.^{10, 13}

Girls tend to have this type more than the others so they are less likely to be recognized as having ADHD because they are not being disruptive enough to call attention to themselves.¹⁰

2. ADHD Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive Type (ADHD-HI)
The hyperactive/impulsive subtype is the lowest presentation for adults with ADHD.¹⁴Children with hyperactive symptoms are difficult to ignore. The ones bouncing out of their chairs or clowning around are usually the first to be evaluated and diagnosed.¹³

3. ADHD Combined Type (ADHD-C)
Around 56% of adults with ADHD have the ADHD-Combined subtype.¹⁴ Also known as ‘a bit of column A, a bit of column B’ teehee.

Under these presentations lies a comprehensive list of singular symptoms that vary greatly from person to person. Whilst there are many effective ways of managing ADHD presently, the continual development of more individually tailored treatments is important.
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So, have you guessed my ‘type’?
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I’d like to go with contestant number three thanks Greg! Why limit yourself to one set of symptoms when you can order the lot?

I have soooooooo much more to tell you. How this all translates to my world; past tense, present tense, and how I can make it work for me not against me in the future. I’ve gone through a stupid amount of medical journals, articles, research papers, and global websites to find some real gems! I think there might be a whole other post just dedicated to the proven link between ADHD and….entrepreneurship!! Everything is starting to make sense. Stay tuned, and reach out with any questions (or messages of hope – that I too could become a ‘finisher’ one day!).

See ya round like
a rollerblade,

ZB x

Cover Image: tylerspangler.com

I GOT FIRED (BY A GIRL) AND I, EVENTUALLY, LIKED IT

November 14, 2017November 14, 20172 Comments

A quick succession of close but momentous events meant that in one fortnight, a few necessary chapters closed, at the exact moment many others opened for business. If I didn’t live through it myself, I wouldn’t believe it to be true. Even now, only some few weeks later is it all beginning to sink in. As expected, these changes are uncomfortable, exciting, and exactly as they should be.

For the path that I drafted was not to be. It is an unpredictable life and it was frivolous of me to expect that things would play out with the miraculous nature that I had once hoped for. But change without a plan is foolish so it was with the best of intentions that the original endeavours I set out to conquer, were established. If you’ve been following along, you would have ridden passenger for the ups and downs that have been the last seven months of my life. Or, ‘life after corporate’ as it is more affectionately labelled.

It was in two minds that I made this leap. With all the blind confidence I could muster, I made big plans to change the world and continue the journey I had begun of pushing the ’emotional intelligence’ agenda to those in need and questionably, those not so. On one hand, I was full of steam, motivated by the momentum garnered from a series of awakenings. On the other hand, I now realise, I sub-consciously expected it all to fail as it did – in all of its splendid, mundane and underwhelming glory. I was not prepared, I had not planned (as much as is needed when throwing one’s stability away), and I was not yet free of the conditioning that the prior 18 years had placed on my working, and consequently, daily mindset.

I toyed with different routines and routes, but I was still unravelling. It’s a dangerous place to be because your conditioned expectations leave you clinging to familiarity, to safety. Growth is meant to be uncomfortable. If it was easy, everybody would be pressing the eject button. The world needs you to stay comfortable. To stick to what you know, or what you think you know. Wake up, caffeinate, dance for the money, rinse, wash, repeat. Don’t ask questions, do not pass go, do not collect $200. Unless you dance on weekends, or away from your family, or in dangerous places; then yes – you get the extra clams. Kudos?

So as mentioned, the money/plan eventually dried out. I did what any semi-sane person would do and I applied for a triage of roles that ranged from unwarranted to downright out of my league. I landed in the sparkliest one I could find and pushed hard for a role that I thought was equally challenging and exciting. It scored extra points for tickling my ego in a fickle industry. I gave it my all and quickly remembered that my capabilities were greater than my confidence alludes to. Some big red flags came up quickly. I verbalised them within my private network but vowed to go on. I had stayed in my last workplace for almost six years. Leaving within a month was unfamiliar territory that I had not prepared myself for.

I had many personal victories in the role and I took these as a sign to keep going despite the noise in the background. But’s that the thing. When the noise is a person, a manager, an owner; you can’t just wish it away – as I did. It was gutless of me but I didn’t want for confrontation any more than I hoped that everything would just work out. I voiced my concerns in a manner of ways which were both constructive and unconstructive. But in the end, it didn’t matter. The alarm bells were ringing, the red flags were flapping, and the sparkly option was beginning to show itself for what it was – a polished turd rolled in the most tremendous colours and coruscation.

And it was with this attitude that the best decision to be placed on me consequently occurred – I was fired! I felt immediate relief. Followed by a sting of pain. A hit to the ego, a shot fired into the rationality of the irrational situation I had placed myself in. A sadness for the loss of customer relationships I had made, and for the successes, I had achieved. But mostly, a relief. There are always two sides to every story – yours, mine, and the truth. But, I can assure you; I was both a lot better and a lot worse than this story tells. ‘Irreconcilable differences’ are what the divorce papers would say, and I couldn’t say it better myself.

So, it is with the low-lows that we, the people of hope and good vibes, await the high-highs. And what a surprisingly short wait, this one was. It was on the very same day of the private flogging that I received good news from one of the faculty from my University. A high distinction for both my final assignment and overall grade in Consumer Behaviour. The irony is not lost. “I’m very impressed with your academic maturity and approach to this assignment. You should seriously consider taking further academic courses to MA if not your initial plan, or beyond if it was! This assignment clearly demonstrates your deep understanding of CB theory and I feel your analysis and application is excellent. Great work. Well done.” Dr. Thornton – Lead Tutor.

Literally three days after this emotional rollercoaster, I get a message from the international team at Airbnb Experiences. That beer and food tour I proposed for shits n gigs – grew some hairy, hop-loving legs! Airbnb are launching this extension of their business in Melbourne, and after hustling to get all my ducks in a row; I pitched, nailed it and am very much looking forward to hosting the inaugural ‘Beer + Bites’ tours in Melbourne, later this month. They say do something you love and you’ll never work a day in your life….and well, I am pretty fond of beer.

But between kicking a few goals academically and entrepreneurially, I was still left with a gaping hole in my capacity, schedule, and wallet. Re-enter Vivo Marketing, stage left. I have been working with a good friend and colleague on her business since she celebrated a successful first year of strategic and executional marketing consultation (post an impressive slew of big corp and FMCG experience). As the business changed and evolved, my involvement weighed up and down depending on need and desire. The fluidity has been a welcomed relief around other commitments that had very little.

Almost as if it were meant to be, a new phase of growth in the business literally appeared the week the axe was swung. More importantly, opportunities to use my strengths and dabble in my passions became more present than previously possible. So, it is with this new opportunity that I will focus on my love of strategy, people management, and my absolute favourite – brand aesthetics. Working alongside a small business owner who is flexible and open to ideas, has a growth mindset and is not wedded to things that aren’t working, is well, such a great trait of a true leader. I hope we grow the shit out of this business together.

I wish that was all I have to tell you but the truth is there are even more doors opening. Things are on track (a slower track, but a track nonetheless) for my co-working space to launch early 2018. The furniture is in, the art is up on the walls, and the space looks amazing. It is a complete turnaround from what is looked like six or so months ago. The website is coming along (slowly) and as soon as the photos are complete, it will be time to advertise, interview and open!

But wait, there’s more. No, I’m not even joking and you don’t get the free steak knives…just yet. We’re nearly there.

My emotional intelligence and ikigai missions continue their lifelong journeys, as promised. The difference is that now they occur at a much slower and targeted pace as their manifestations continue to evolve, adapt, or die off. This fortnight of possibilities continued in its fortuity with the national broadcasting commission putting out a call for new podcast ideas (yes Aussies – the ABC). I have been brewing on my idea since I got together with you all to head over to MIT last year. That is, I want to open up the conversation about people’s purpose, their reason for getting out of bed in the morning, their ikigai. I want to explore the thousands of different jobs, careers, and callings that people get dressed for and head out the door to, each and every morning. I find out whether this concept has any shtick in December. Cross all your fingers and toes.

Look, we’re at 1496 words so I must be getting close to the end, right? Right! I want to leave you with a bit of information that I learned recently from a ground-breaking study completed by UC Berkeley psychology professor and expert on the science of emotions, Dacher Keltner. He and Alan Cowen, a doctoral student in neuroscience also at UC Berkeley have discovered that human emotions span a spectrum of 27 distinct dimensions, not 6 as previously described. Moreover, in contrast to the notion that each emotional state is felt in isolation, the study found that “there are smooth gradients of emotion between, say, awe and peacefulness, horror and sadness, and amusement and adoration. We don’t get finite clusters of emotions in the map because everything is interconnected. Emotional experiences are much richer and more nuanced than previously thought’, the pair discussed in a recent article.

Doesn’t this just fill your head with so much curiosity?! We have such a long way to go in terms of understanding, communicating, and learning about the full spectrum of these human emotions. With more focus here, we can begin to uncover the next waves of human evolution which will come from understanding ourselves and our fellow man better. Heck, even the implications for user experience and business are beyond our current realm of capability. It’s an exciting time for this discovery.

If you were on the edge of your seat…wonder no more. The 27 human emotions, are – admiration, adoration, aesthetic appreciation, amusement, anger, anxiety, awe, awkwardness, boredom, calmness, confusion, craving, disgust, empathic pain, entrancement, excitement, fear, horror, interest, joy, nostalgia, relief, romance, sadness, satisfaction, sexual desire, surprise.

Ok, you made it. Well done. It’s a lot to take in. I am truly a multipotentialite in every sense of the word and as such, it is time to stop with the incessant application of safety net options. It is time to go it alone, to seek the road less travelled, to adopt a reasonable answer to the increasingly tricky question, “what do you do?”. But that is the least of my concerns at this moment because for the first time in a long time, I truly feel both happy and content. I run my own timetable, work with a variety of wonderful people, feel challenged daily, move my body lots more, drink way less, work fewer hours, and am much more productive overall. I’m literally like a beaming ray of fucking sunshine in this moment. I am a better friend, a better wife, a kinder person to myself, and a more conscious citizen.

2018 is going to be a big year, for us all. Watch out world!

ZB xx

A LIFE WITH PURPOSE

Tag: multipotentialite

HI! MY NAME IS AND I’M AN **

I GOT FIRED (BY A GIRL) AND I, EVENTUALLY, LIKED IT

*Cover Image: Winston the Whale, Final Image: Lisa Larsen, 1949